Coping with loss

Sadly, loss has been with us since our first ancestors mourned the death of a loved one.

However, the coronavirus pandemic has created more loss for many more people than has been felt since we were last at war. 

Add to this the loss we may feel around financial insecurity with the cost-of-living crisis, worry over a changing world and climate change, and concern for those affected by disasters and wars in other parts of the world can leave us feeling unsettled. 

Queen Elizabeth II's death is another loss that many people may experience in many different ways. 

The Nation in mourning may even resurface past grief of our own. It is also the end of an era and in a world where we are already experiencing so many changes, we may find ourselves feeling even more unsettled and not even 100% sure why, we just feel an emptiness inside and are not sure what is needed to fill it.

Grief and loss are part of the human condition, not a nice part, not a part anyone wants to embrace, but as a wise man once said:

'' Tis a fearful thing to love what death can touch''

by Judah Halevi

Grief is part of the life cycle and as well as mourning the loss of the person who has gone, we may also feel a sense of unease as the loss of another close to us, reminds us of our mortality. We all kind of know no one gets forever, but it's not something we dwell on too much!

Coverage of COVID-19 was a constant reminder of the fragility of the human condition, and coverage of the loss of the Queen was a reminder that other constants in our life end. However, humans are incredibly resilient and can cope with more pain and loss than we can imagine, and we can adapt in the face of adversity. A challenge can be that our imagined reaction to pain and loss and what we expect of ourselves and each other can only add to the challenges when we do experience loss. We are sad, hurt, and fearful of the future, none of these emotions is pleasant so we want them to go away. They may not be pleasant, but they are natural. Allowing ourselves to grieve, be sad, and cry is part of the process of healing. 

There are no wise words anyone can say to take away the pain, hurt, anger even guilt which goes along with the death of a loved one. Sometimes all any of us can do when we see someone hurting is let them know, that they are not alone.

These wee tips sheet offers some small ideas which may help someone who is grieving suffer less. Sometimes all we can do is offer something to help people suffer less and let them know they are not alone. People care

''She heard him mutter, 'Can you take away this grief?'
'I'm sorry,' she replied. 'Everyone asks me. And I would not do so even if I knew how. It belongs to you. Only time and tears take away grief; that is what they are for."

by Terry Pratchett, 'I Shall Wear Midnight

Be kind to yourself and each other now, as only now is real and it matters, we all do. Life can be like the weather, wet, windy and stormy, but each day brings the hope of the sun coming back and one day it will give it time. Know people care.