One day it feels like your body is your own, you are pretty much in control, then, all of a sudden, things start to shift, dramatically! You are minding your own business, not even exerting yourself then like a hairdryer has been turned on full blast, you feel a heat spreading over your body, and you seem to have no control over it. It's the HOT FLUSH!

In the past, you may have put on a few pounds here or there, but with a bit of exercise and cutting down you could lose it again. Weirdly now it seems every day despite your best intentions your belly seems to be developing a will of its own which no exercise or cutting down seems to have the same impact on, you start to google 'BLOATING'

Then your menstrual cycle, which followed a pattern you were used to, seems to have decided to do its own thing, so spare clothes, towels/tampons become the norm, followed by always having something on JUST IN CASE!

Then there are the aches and pains, the tears at things which you wonder to yourself 'why am I crying' the battle with your hair which gives new meaning to 'Bad Hair Day' You begin to notice, more hair on your brush, in the shower you notice it getting thinner. Once you enjoyed going to the hairdresser and trying new styles even, now you want to know what can be done to make it look thicker you start googling 'Thinning hair' and trying a lot of new shampoos and conditioners!

Sleep, a decent night's sleep! This can also be a challenge as you are woken due to overheating and the bedclothes need to be thrown off; something, if you share the bed may also disturb your sleeping partner, including any cats or dogs, where appropriate, who share the bed with you, as they find their snooze disturbed as the cover they were sleeping on is launched out of the way, later to be grabbed back as you snuggle in trying to get warm again as having been overheated you now find you are very cold! You may also find, that there are reports from those nearest to you, that you have started to snore! You demand recorded proof

Add to this a loss of libido, maybe increased anxiety, even depression and difficulty in enabling others to understand how you feel as they maybe inform you 'Ach it's just menopause!' At a time when you may have other pressures in your life, a career with more responsibilities, ageing parents needing more support, children leaving home and wondering who you are again as for so long you have been wife and mum, wondering ah kids!

Somewhere in all the other things I was doing that was always tomorrow and realising tomorrow may never come as the option to become pregnant is reduced. Of course, for others, it may be great no risk of getting pregnant, but then your body throws a curved ball and hey guess what, you can still have children while going through menopause!

We talk about perimenopause and Menopause, we used to talk about 'The Change' or 'The Change of Life' and in some ways, it's still helpful to think in terms of 'The Change' as recognising things are changing, which can bring physical, emotional, psychological even financial challenges is helpful. If money is tight, the extra cost of towels and tampons can be a stressor. If we think in terms of changes, we can think 'Okay, what can I do to help manage this change?'

Chatting to others can be a great help, why not see if a Menopause Café is running near you, or organise one?

https://www.menopausecafe.net/

Have conversations at home, in the workplace, and at clubs, you may be a member of. 

Include all genders and people who are non-binary.

Menopause is something which can have an impact on everyone and anyone going through perimenopause or menopause doesn't need to feel alone, little considerations can go a long way to reduce the challenges menopause brings and help us realise there is life beyond the menopause. 

Sometimes life can be challenging, but when we find ways to face those challenges together, we can suffer less.

In addition to speaking to health professionals it may be worth considering:

• Is my diet well enough balanced? Am I eating enough fruit and veg?
• Am I drinking enough water?
• Should I maybe be a bit more active?
• Are the clothes I am wearing helpful for reducing my body temperature?
• Would it be worth keeping a diary to see if different foods or drinks trigger a hot flush or if other symptoms of menopause feel worse?
• Am I doing enough to manage stress and take time to relax?
• Are the bedclothes I use cooling, would investing in a cool pillow help me get a better night's sleep?
• Is it worth investing in a wee fan I can use at my bedside, take to work or when out and about?
• Are menopause and dryness causing sex to be painful, should I speak to my GP or practice nurse about products which may help?
• Am I feeling stressed and need to talk to someone about this?
• Are other things like bladder weakness causing me concern and should I speak to someone?
• What do I do that is fun? What hobbies do I have? Do I need to bring a bit more fun and my time into my life?
• Am I suffering more sore heads even migraines, maybe be aware of any triggers and speak about your concerns to your GP or other health care provider?
• Is my hair not doing what it used to? Do I find I have hair growing places it didn't before? maybe speak to your hairdresser about hair products and styles and other appropriate professionals about unwanted facial hair. Always seek advice from people qualified to offer this, you may also find you need advice on skin products as you may be prone to more spots
• Would connecting with others and sharing experiences be a good idea.

Remember, you are not alone, there are millions of people going through perimenopause/menopause knowing how to connect with others to receive mutual support and encouragement can help make a real difference, find a menopause café near you, or why not approach a local group to help you organise and sponsor one?

The following offers some more self-care ideas, however, does not replace professional advice. 

There is a growing awareness of the impact of perimenopause/menopause you do not need to suffer alone.